My garage has been invaded by wasps.
No, not White Anglo-Saxon Protestants. I’m talking about the yellow, nasty, angry, stinging flying, scare-the-pants-off-of-you mean arsed bugs.
At first, there was just one or two of the stray little buggers that I swatted away and basically applied the maxim of “you live your life and I’ll live mine, buddy” to.
Then I noticed that one or two became a swarm. An angry, attacking, make-you-run-like-heck-to-get-to-the-truck-before-you-get-stung mob.
Seems the one or two that I ignored decided that I was no threat and they put out an invitation to their bug buddies to come on over and build a nest in an out of the way place on an eave that I never paid much attention to. Because running for my life in spike heels is generally not a successful venture, I was left with two options:
2). Invest in some wasp killer spray.
(Author’s note: if we were talking spiders here, the only option would be “carefully grab a tissue and burn the entire house down”).
I chose option 2 and, because I’m a woman and I actually read the freaking instructions, I learned the most effective method to rid my haven of the buzzing interlopers.
First: Stand a safe distance from the nest and keep the wind at your back.
Second: Spray until nest is thoroughly saturated to get rid of the entire nest population.
Three: Exit area immediately.
Four: Wait at least 24 hours before removing the nest because the poison that was sprayed will also destroy any other late arriving wasps who decide to show up to the nest area.
And, oh heck yes, this is going to be one of my famous analogies.
We heard some buzzing. We ignored it. The angry mob of stinging buzzers grew and grew.
It would be one thing if this was just a group of honeybees that had been pushed too far. This is a swarm of some of the most virulent racist haters in the country.
They had nothing to do with conservatism – they only wanted to burn the party down. The Comboverlord is merely their chosen vehicle to achieve that goal.
And that angry mob is hell bent on making us move from our “home”. They’ve set up their nests and they will swarm and attack us in a heartbeat when all we want to do is get in the damned truck and drive.
Hopefully, those of us who are rock solid conservatives are standing together at a safe distance, and we will realize that we do indeed have the wind at our backs.
As someone tweeted the other day, they threw us off the ship and set us adrift in lifeboats thinking they were punishing us. We just have a good vantage point to watch their boat capsize.
If we’re not going to move and start a new party, then what we need to do now is to find something (anything) to get rid of the entire nest – AND to poison the nest so that any future interloper doesn’t try to attach themselves to our garage ever again.
It would seem to me that the only way to get rid of tyrants and buzzing stinging pests is to destroy them thoroughly.
The fascist dreams of Italy and Germany were only thwarted after being soundly trounced in war. The Asian-Pacific domination plans of Japan were stopped by a noisy atomic delivery to two cities.
Defeat is a mighty potent inducement.
I don’t know exactly what it’s going to take, but in my mind, the only way to stop this virulent swarm is to make sure they lose.
And we must tar those who enabled him in politics as well as in the once-conservative media with the stain of supporting a fraud and make damned sure that they are never allowed back in our garage.
The wind’s at our back, peeps.
Oh, and I’ve already called the tar-and-feather concession, so don’t step on my turf. Pitchforks and torches are still up for grabs, though.